His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
