At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
