Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize