i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
