What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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