yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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