I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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