Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
