I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
