Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
