but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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