And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
