based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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