There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Text me some of your sweat
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
