I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize