I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
