Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
