I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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