I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
