Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
