two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
