I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
