yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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