I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize