I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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