a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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