Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
