my phone needs a breathalizer
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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