He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its about making memories worth repressing
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
