operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
