You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize