my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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