How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
