My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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