I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
