every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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