Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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