just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
