I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
