was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
