if you like me you must not know who I am
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
