my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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