I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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