Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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