I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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