I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
