The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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