you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
