I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize