Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
