my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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