I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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