sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize