that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
