I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
