note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
