Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
