The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
