I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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